Hey, how've you been? So, are you teaching now?

That must be the most overused line I heard over the weekend. Mostly used on me of course.

Thankfully, my answer was a "No."

But then again, who's heard of DOS, right??? Heh.

There must be a way how I can describe my job in one single line. Shucks.

Its like, "I'm a teacher, and rascals are my specialty."

"I'm a lawyer, and I bullshit a lot."

"I'm a surgeon, and I try not to kill patients while cutting them up."

I still have no clue for my own case.

PS: The last part about teacher, lawyer and surgeon is purely fictional. Hmm... Yeah right.

Sentiments of An Office Hours Worker

My Facebook status said, "When you don't work office hours, and have a so-called long holiday, don't assume everyone else will accomodate to your schedule."


Lest you think that I am taking a dig at Singapore's educators, you are, well, almost correct.

Truthfully, I was responding to a friend's complaint on how she felt forced and got really irritated when she was confronted with incessant pestering from two of her teacher friends.

I've been down that road before, but I've always viewed this as a sensitive topic due to my close friendship with people in this profession. Don't get me wrong, I respect them a lot.

I also respect the fact that they can reach their workplace (aka respective schools) before the sun is up when I'm still having my warm shower after snoozing my alarm.

I also respect that they have started preparing for their morning lessons while I'm still applying on my makeup and sculpting lotion on my hair, and if I do so a bit earlier, I'd get to enjoy my morning cup of tea and light reading of the newspaper.

I also respect their ability to talk for long hours in front of immature kids while I either stone in front of my desktop, enjoying breakfast amidst the light gossiping on MSN with fellow colleagues, or, the worst case scenario, seeing my Lotus Notes get all explosive on me.

Which reminds me, shit, I need to archive by tomorrow. :p

Coming back, I also respect these teachers for being able to add their students on their social networking platforms whilst carefully deciding which photos to upload, and what kind of language to use should they decide on situations where expletives would be an understatement to what they wish to express.

Lastly, I respect them for giving up their Sundays for marking while I would be going for movies, picnics and doing leisure activities. Oh, enjoying my night soccer games when EPL is in season. Yeaps.

See, I respect them a lot.

I understand their profession. A lot. I was once a relief teacher (on full-time teacher duties minus CCA and admin work) so I had been in their shoes.

Unfortunately, there isn't quite a two-way understanding between teachers and office hours workers.

For some reason, many (not all) teachers choose to glorify things like:

1) their paycheck because they are amongst the highest paid in civil service (I think they're also paid for the Saturdays CCA days and Sundays for marking at home)

2) their annual IT allowance (weird part is many of them remains more "illiterate" to applications compared to the office workers)

3) the so-called long holidays during June and December where many of them would be summoned back for work in the first and last week of those holidays

and many more.

Once again, I do not hate teachers.

But I wish for everyone to have mutual respect for each other's profession, no matter how different your schedules may be.

If you do have some tiny ounce of respect, you would consider:

1) Not hounding your friend to go karaoke with you on a Wednesday night in June when the friend has already stated she really got loads of work to clear.

2) Giving up a weekend day with boyfriend/fiance/fiancee to meet up with your other regular office hours mates who are also actually sacrificing their time with their loved ones to meet up with you.

3) Thinking twice that your other friends are too busy to meet up with you during your curricular time when the actual fact is that we understand you have to be home by probably 9pm as you might have things to prepare for the next day. So we just choose to meet up on our own without you.

4) Not talking about work when you meet with friends who aren't teachers. Work is office hours (plus paid/unpaid overtime) for us, it stays there. We don't want to hear how some kids irritate you because they didn't bring their homework as we deal with adult-management, and prefer it that way also.

The list goes on, but you get what I mean. ;p

No worries, I don't harbour any grudges against teachers. Its just that I wish this line of distinction of behaviour would just become blurrer and soon, everyone will just respect each other's profession, whether you are in the education sector, regular office hours workers or even in shift-dominating industries.

Because no matter how much you earn, or how much freedom you get in your work, every job comes with pros and cons.

You don't have to cover everything up. ;)

Hype: Good and Bad

There was once someone told me, "I used to listen to Britney. But then the hype was all created after that and I totally stopped supporting her. I hate hype."

I've been known to listen to a range of music, with diverse interests all the way from the emo rock to sappy love songs.

I wouldn't say I have a good judgement of music as taste of music differs from one individual to another.

But I've always felt that the friend's comments were a little too... exaggerated.

Not drawing attention to the singer, Britney, in question, I would describe such remarks or opinions as skewed and judgemental of any singers in general.

My opinion is simple: I enjoy good vocals. Those that definitely can sing live (I reserve an exception for Britney as I've been adoring her as simply Britney). I enjoy good music, whether they are well-known or not, though most of the time I don't take much effort to find out the indie bands. Technically, if I like their vocals and music, I don't care whether they're hyped up (except Rihanna, who obviously sings through her nose and whom I still don't find attractive despite the changes).

This is mirrored in my ultimate disappointment for American Idol.

Every week, I have been looking forward to watching this season's, a stark contrast to all the previous seasons.

I believed in just hearing one person sing everytime.

Adam Lambert.

He was the gift to American Idol after such flops in previous seasons' winners (except Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson).

He provided the different bandwidth of entertainment for AI by creating his own sense of originality in performances.

And not to mention breathtaking vocals.

No offence to Kris' supporters now if I'm slamming them now.

I mean, I know you guys are perfectly fine with being grouped together with the TWEENAGERS out there.

Its fine that you guys chose to be deaf to immaculate vocalisations and choose a strumming guitarist who will definitely need ALL the help to make the records anyway.

Well, hype or not, Adam Lambert has definitely stood out from any previous season of AI. In any way possible. The judges had no choice but to tell the truth: That he is THAT good.

Oh well, we'll just see the name "Kris Allen" fade into obscurity in a year's time. :ppppp

PS: The writer does not think Kris was a bad singer; in fact, she loved his "Heartless" rendition. Its just his technicalities that would not stand out in the cut-throat world of America's entertainment that has made him undeserving of this win. Congrats anyway...

PPS: The writer's mood has been redeemed by the Liverpool tickets she's getting and the Blum & Co tops she just bought.

25 Random Things About Me -- Facebook-Inspired

Wow, been a freaking looooong time since I actually wrote here. School's been great, assignments pretty much ok, life's been blessed and I've more jumping pictures than before (previously zero, so having 1 is a 100% increase...).

Facebook has people tagging their friends in their 25 random things about themselves, and I was a recent victim of such a nonsensical move (can be quite funny reading others' at times).

The list I'm going to reveal soon wouldn't be the same list I had in Facebook. Though some are pretty much inspired by certain fateful comments dropped by friends' or friends' of theirs.

Alright now, here it goes.

1) I just finished reading up on 4-5 newsletters of SATS for relevance of my essay due in 2 days time. Which means I have not typed a single word of the 2000-word criteria. Great.

2) Some people probably need to see the phrase "pun intended" to get jokes. I think they don't watch enough Russell Peters, Whose Line Is It Anyway, The Daily Show, Colbert Report etc. Sad boring life heh.

3) I like acting bimbotic and stupid so that people underestimate my level of intelligence. Some do get adverse reactions after they found out I did Mathematics in university. And then they kept blinking their eyes in disbelief, and then they stopped talking to me as much after that.

4) I eat creamy peanut butter with butter on my bread. Butter, not margarine, brings out the real taste of its counterparts. Its just that its extremely fatty.

5) I don't like the smell of perfumed talc. Dettol menthol powder provides me the most refreshing morning feel on my skin.

6) I am often than not, too lazy to reapply my makeup. I have this mentality that I can save up on more things when I don't reapply as much including makeup remover and cotton pads.

7) Liverpool's re-match with Everton in the FA Cup at Goodison Park is starting in like 5 min and I have not woken up my dad who always make me promise to do so for such early morning matches.

8) My graduation gown needs to be dry-cleaned for photo-taking on 14 February (due to brother's and sister's graduation). So troublesome. And expensive. :p

9) Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, Discovery Travel and Living are among my favourite documentary channels. I love Mythbusters, they're hilarious. And nerdy. Like me. :D

10) I think I am a funny person.

11) I secretly feel extremely flattered when people ask me whether I pluck my eyebrows. For the record, I don't. Au naturel.

12) I sometimes talk like I'm over the top. But most of the time I'm just joking actually.

13) I still can't believe that some people really literally need the "pun intended" phrase as a preventive measure for them to act smart and make me look stupid.

14) Its really freezing in my house right now.

15) I think my proper handwriting is nice. The downside is that the way I hold my pen to achieve such nice font is painful when writing essays.

16) I don't like keeping soft toys. They're suffocating to me actually. I give them (mostly presents) to my youngest sister.

17) Yesterday, I practised my (horrendous) cycling at the void deck and those banglas were staring and sniggering at me. Idiotic.

18) I'm not a neat freak. And I can't live with one probably because my whole family is just not. But we get by with things as it is...

19) I'm still harping on the fact that I can't find this particular skirt of mine that I've been wanting to wear. For years. Almost giving up now.

20) I feel flattered when people tell me I have good skin. Its 90% attributed to genes, 10% for my effort to try out skincare products that work best for my skin. As I am a lazy person in general, I usually tend to give up on 3-step skincare.

21) I have only celebrated Valentine's Day once. Last year, that is. Not planning to celebrate it anymore as my anniversary date is near anyway. Pointless.

22) I read a book titled "Catstrology" at Times just now. My void deck stray cat that went missing and which I loved and missed dearly, was probably a Libran cat.

23) Liverpool's match is into its 4th minute now. I need to hurry and finish this up.

24) I have a male best friend whom I think is a good catch. Any single ladies who wants to date a business owner??

25) I hope my Fernando Torres will score tonight.

Maturity Is...

Being aware of your own's actions
and the repercussions of your impulsiveness

Having the ability to judge
what is ought and what is not

Putting your tiny self in others' shoes
Their emotions and perceptions thereof

Knowing when to place
other people in front of yourself

Placing the right priorities
who to please first and such

Knowing nothing is an easy way out
Nothing is ever a shortcut...

I'm not perfect, I don't fulfil all of these myself.

But at the very most, I try.

Its not easy initially, but if you set your mind upon growing up, the way we all should be, it would all fall to place.

Without you knowing it.

Because I know I'm constantly loved.

And so are you.

My Bonnie

My bonnie lies over the ocean,
My bonnie lies over the sea,
My bonnie lies over the ocean,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me

Bring back, oh, bring back,
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me,
To me
Bring back, oh, bring back,
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me


I miss her so much,
Her smell on the bed that stained her pillow,
I'd sleep on her side to get a whiff of that,
She's my bonnie,
My little cute bonnie,
And she took away her 2 bonnies,
That I always needed to supplement her absence
6 more days to go without her
To irritate me and for me to irritate
Gonna be lonely till then...

My 16-Year-Old Baby Sister

Torn

"Nothing's fine, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel"

-- Natalie Imbruglia

A recent photo of a dear girlfriend sent the whole clique in bitchy mode. Her holiday pictures that she put up on her profile had shown a certain significant weight gain and naturally, girls being girls, friends being friends, bitchings was started by yours-truly.

Actually, I do admit I was surprised by her "new look" (although I know unflattering angles played a part too) but I wasn't shocked.

Basically, its the holidays.

Everyone eats.

Including me.

My previous post is already a testament to that.

Of course, I admit, I need the exercise badly, be it weight-lifting (for strengthening of the leg) or cardio (for weight-loss).

But it is the food too that's causing the weight gain.

I was just reading up on how celebrities maintained their bodies on the tight exercise and eating regime. I was thinking, wow, must be good, all that pilates would do much justice for my fats now.

And then I saw their food.

Jessica Biel follows a routine that involves 5 small meals a day, mostly comprising of lean meats and vegetables while staying away from sugar, dairy (eggs!!!) and flour. Actually, I love eggs a lot, there was a time I could eat up to 5 in a day. Nowadays I cut it down to maximum 2, occasionally 3, as I know my favourite egg yolk has the highest cholestrol content. So I went thinking, hmm, Jessica Biel's diet probably could do for me, since I love meat and vegetables.

I pondered and came to this conclusion.

If anyone in this house goes on a diet, its at the expense of hurting my mother's feelings. There she had cooked something after rushing home from work and all I do is tell her I'm not eating her food, sad isn't it?

Now of course, what she would cook would usually taste so good (except for things I really don't eat especially cockles, yucks) that it would make me feel TORN to not eat those calories-rich food.

Especially when I am broke and have no means to choose my meals (free meals are "sponsored" by parents who definitely don't practise any strict diet, hence including cholestrol-bursting foods, cheap meals are mostly plain unhealthy).

These factors do not leave me with much choice, do they?

Damn it, I can't diet at all.

HEEEEEEELP!!!

Heavenly

Heavenly is...


When you had toast with cheese and fresh milk to go along...

For supper at 1am.



When you already ate nasi sambal goreng at 9pm,

Had fried rice at 4.30pm for lunch,

And turkey bacon, egg and mayo with bread at 11.50am.


Seriously, you don't have to remind me of the calories I've taken the whole day. FYI, ladies, I don't really have that enviable figure (anymore), no thanks to this kind of eating at the most nonsensical times of the day. Oh, did I mention that I would have cooked maggi if there was any?

SIGHZZZZZZZZZ...

Of Reel and Real Life

Many a time, I had previously lamented on my Sex and the City (SATC) entries on how I could truly relate to Carrie Bradshaw. On her love for dresses, shoes, fashion but most importantly of all, of her love life in all 6 seasons.

Those who have watched the series would know how her relationships were like: doomed to fail then seemingly got alive then became nowhere (read: Big), doomed to fail from the very start (read: Aleksandr Petrovsky), deemed to succeed but failed in the end (read: Aidan), and the list goes on.

A girlfriend recently asked me a supposedly sensitive question.

"What if Big wants you back?"

The "Big" she was talking about was not the same guy in the series, of course. Rather, a more delicate manner of me putting it across in this public domain instead of naming the party. And "Big", as she had realised, hasn't dated anyone since... well, the last time he dated me. Which makes it 3 whole years. :p

It has come even to her attention that, in reality, I could really become a Carrie. But instead of me lamenting further on my previous posts, I stopped to even think about doing the series in my real life.

So I replied, "I'd tell him to walk away."

I have come to a realisation, many many times, that I do have an Aidan in my life now: the Mr Nice Guy, gentle, sweet, respectful, and most importantly of all, whom Carrie stupidly cheated on with Big, the biggest jackass who never quite treated her the way she should be. The guy who never told her of his plans. Or rather, never had plans for her until the end of Season 6.

Reality, unlike reel life, should be separated by a clear thick line from the latter.

Thus, reality will remain as reality, and reelity should stay behind the screens. Permanently.


Ps: The last line includes the disgustingly numerous gorgeous shoes, bags, dresses, outfits that they feature in EVERY single episode of the show...

Sepi (Loneliness)...

Bisik ku pada bulan,
Kembalikan temanku
Kekasihku, syurgaku

Tanpa dia malam menemaniku
Sepi memelukku

Bulan jangan biar siang
Biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi sepertiku

I whisper to the moon
Return to me, my companion
My lover, my heaven

Without him only the night accompanies me
Loneliness engulfs me

O moon, don't let it be day
Leave the world in twilight
Let it be lonely, like me

I am cursing and swearing at Ain now for lending me this DVD. I didn't remember crying this much as I had for Korean shows.

This movie is a must-watch for any sadistically sad people out there. Not that I'm saying I am one (I just have a soft spot for sadistically horror and sad movies), but the beautiful cinematography just allures one to enjoy the pace of the movie.

The above poem, with its English translation (from as far as I can remember from the subtitles, plus cracking the boyfriend's head at the same time), is woven perfectly inside the 3rd and final story of the movie with its full meaning only revealed towards the ending.

That was what actually got my eyes swollen. Not to mention how many pieces of tissue paper I used up or attempted to wipe away my tears that kept rolling on and on.

Much has been said about the cinematography and script, which was amazingly untypical Malaysian (think Nana Tanjung, Duyung etc), but I think what glued the movie together was the music.

Melancholy has been known to be Indonesia's forte in music, hence the decision for the collaboration between Sony BMG Music Entertainment and Primeworks Studios was a stroke of ingenuity. With singers like Yuni Shara and Gita Gutawa, plus Melly Goeslaw as composer and a bonus, the music would take you to such that you could just feel the emotions deeper than you could imagine.

I have one critic on the music though. Not that I am against Malaysian songs (I am still a CT fan), but I think the cover version of Rossa's "Aku Bukan Untukmu" by Zaf and Lah VE was horrible.

But overall, the movie's perfect, aside from the dramatic plot. But hey, I was knocked down by a car too, I mean, shit happens man.

Never ever think getting knocked down by the car is unreal and dramatic.

Pause and let yourself immerse on the reason it happened. :)

Ps: I do watch Nana Tanjung and Duyung for the spastic lame humour. O well...

She, With The Real Scar

There was anxiety in me, being wheeled into a room of 3 other elderly patients. It would be the first hospitalization for me, and my first experience first-hand with the medical staff. As I bore with the pain that poked through the pelvic region as the nurses transferred me from the A&E bed to the ward's bed, I felt unsure of the kind of experience I was going to go through.

I never quite understood the difference of a B1 and a B2 ward. I had heard of so many complaints of inefficient nurses in the subsidised wards of Changi General Hospital. I thought a B1 ward would be similar, despite the much lower subsidy rates.

.............................................................................................................................................

"Good morning, sayang. Do you want to have a bath before your breakfast or eat first and wait for the doctor to make his rounds?"

Despite the informal address, Shireen never really smiled while waking me up to take my blood pressure in the morning. But I knew there was genuine warmth and sincerity in her voice.

"Hmm, I'll mandi first lah."

"You want a scrub or you want to try sitting on the chair? You dah boleh bangun tak (can get up already or not)?" She was concerned whether I could withstand the pain of getting out of the bed, knowing I was squirming with pain everytime they transferred me to the X-Ray table.

"I want to duduk. I want to try mandi on my own..."

She wheeled me immediately the toilet wheelchair, the one with the hole in the middle of the seat (for ease of business).

"Careful... Yes, you get her on the chair like this, and then you put her leg like that with the towel, you just hold it as I wheel her into the toilet..." giving instructions to another nurse who was helping me hold up my fractured leg and pushed me to the shower room.

...............................................................................................................................................

I pressed the call button and waited for any nurse to "rescue" me and help me get dressed. The moment might have seemed forever as I was clutching myself to the towel although it wasn't exactly that long before Shireen opened the door.

"Dah abis (Done already), sayang? Got someone here to see you. Its Ustad Sallim Jasman..." she trailed off as she buttoned my blouse for me.

"Oh yah, Tok Wan...," knowing well why he came to see me so early in the morning.

"You're related to him eh?"

"Hmm, yah, he's my granduncle."

"Oh, he was supposed to be my Tok Kadi (Muslim marital priest) for my wedding. But my tunang (fiance) died of a motorcycle accident 2 weeks before our wedding. That's why I keep telling you, God loves you, He's given you another chance to live, unlike my tunang..."

A poignant silence filled the air. I couldn't say anything. If I had remembered correctly, I just looked at her and smiled.

She never broke down, she never looked at me in the eye. And that was when I knew she could never quite muster a smile. Yet, the expressionless face that greeted me was probably crying her heart out every single time she was alone.

If I could count on the movers and shakers of my world, she'd have to be one of them. Shireen, the one with the real scar.