My Bonnie

My bonnie lies over the ocean,
My bonnie lies over the sea,
My bonnie lies over the ocean,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me

Bring back, oh, bring back,
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me,
To me
Bring back, oh, bring back,
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me


I miss her so much,
Her smell on the bed that stained her pillow,
I'd sleep on her side to get a whiff of that,
She's my bonnie,
My little cute bonnie,
And she took away her 2 bonnies,
That I always needed to supplement her absence
6 more days to go without her
To irritate me and for me to irritate
Gonna be lonely till then...

My 16-Year-Old Baby Sister

Torn

"Nothing's fine, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel"

-- Natalie Imbruglia

A recent photo of a dear girlfriend sent the whole clique in bitchy mode. Her holiday pictures that she put up on her profile had shown a certain significant weight gain and naturally, girls being girls, friends being friends, bitchings was started by yours-truly.

Actually, I do admit I was surprised by her "new look" (although I know unflattering angles played a part too) but I wasn't shocked.

Basically, its the holidays.

Everyone eats.

Including me.

My previous post is already a testament to that.

Of course, I admit, I need the exercise badly, be it weight-lifting (for strengthening of the leg) or cardio (for weight-loss).

But it is the food too that's causing the weight gain.

I was just reading up on how celebrities maintained their bodies on the tight exercise and eating regime. I was thinking, wow, must be good, all that pilates would do much justice for my fats now.

And then I saw their food.

Jessica Biel follows a routine that involves 5 small meals a day, mostly comprising of lean meats and vegetables while staying away from sugar, dairy (eggs!!!) and flour. Actually, I love eggs a lot, there was a time I could eat up to 5 in a day. Nowadays I cut it down to maximum 2, occasionally 3, as I know my favourite egg yolk has the highest cholestrol content. So I went thinking, hmm, Jessica Biel's diet probably could do for me, since I love meat and vegetables.

I pondered and came to this conclusion.

If anyone in this house goes on a diet, its at the expense of hurting my mother's feelings. There she had cooked something after rushing home from work and all I do is tell her I'm not eating her food, sad isn't it?

Now of course, what she would cook would usually taste so good (except for things I really don't eat especially cockles, yucks) that it would make me feel TORN to not eat those calories-rich food.

Especially when I am broke and have no means to choose my meals (free meals are "sponsored" by parents who definitely don't practise any strict diet, hence including cholestrol-bursting foods, cheap meals are mostly plain unhealthy).

These factors do not leave me with much choice, do they?

Damn it, I can't diet at all.

HEEEEEEELP!!!