EHM

I refer to TNP's Adam Hashidy's column in the 1st Sept issue.

In it, he defined an EHM lady, mainly known as Emotionally High Maintenance.

And I have finally found my identity.

To sum up what it actually meant in the article, a lady who is EHM is actually a financially-independent lady who "acts all ballsy and confident. but when in private, needs all the attention she can get and that means her man must be a giant sponge."

Adam actually finds it a problem to deal with this type of ladies, and I actually indentified the main reason why I have been having so many failed relationships.

You see, I am known to be someone who embraces the ideas of going Dutch, burning holes in my pockets everytime I step into Zara and never fully appreciative of expensive gifts and even flowers (except faking it up front to make the guy feel better). I have this weird notion of materials' inability to make up for true delivery of emotions. But of course, if any one of you would love to sponsor my next shopping spree, it would be of great assistance.

Talking about flowers, I remembered being envious of girls who received roses for Valentine's Day in secondary school. But after receiving my first bouquet in college, I realised I didn't miss much; it was the note attached to the flowers that meant much more, from what I remembered, that is. And expensive gifts like branded watches and jewellery was never the top of my most favourite gifts either.

For Adam, I would like to remind him that in most cases, the men who can really appreciate the EHMs are mostly attached or married. The single ones are probably in a 11:1 ratio of minority. And Adam, I would not think you are included in this group of study.

So, in other words, single women like me, have to fight our claws to get into the books of the single unit ratio.

I can safely say most women are EHM. The rest are probably MHM (Materially High Maintenance). And trust me, these women burn a hell lot out of their men's pockets to buy the latest Louis Vuitton than the EHMs burning the men's energy.

I want to summon the ladies a question, who doesn't want a man who can make us laugh and be there for us when we need them?

Adam probably has never met a MHM before, I reckon.

For one thing, being an EHM, I fully appreciate the guy to double up as my best friend, just like how Zahari has been for me. If the guy can't make me smile and laugh like how he does with his sarcastic and narcissistic jokes, I'd send the guy straight out of the door. But just to set the record straight, Zahari and I are strictly platonic best friends for 9 years who date each other out of convenience since both of us are single anyway.

When I am free, I would end up messaging or calling him if I know he was free too (which is rarely), even in the middle of the night at 3am. That's one of my typical traits. So I am still bewildered as to how a guy I previously dated termed me as "possessive" in that sense when I clearly did not control his freedom nor was I jealous of every single feline who messages him. I seriously feel for his lack of command in English by which, in other words, he had proven his insufficiency in intellect.

Yes, the guy must be my Aunt Agony. Ask any happily attached or married guy out there whether they are not one to their partners.

So Adam, you just failed to realise, the EHM ladies are actually simple ladies who can buy their own diamonds and hence save you from hanging by your neck on the credit card debts that your so-called "kampung girl" would cause you if you upset her more than once a day. If you think we could be insensitive to your hectic schedules, trust me, it takes a mere sweet reply even after two hours' of meeting to put us on cloud nine. And we do expect to be your Aunt Agony too so you could vent out your daily frustrations at work on us. And there you have it, communication, the most vital part of a relationship.

In conclusion to search for your "kampung girl", you should try to go for foreign brides matchmaking agency since you probably don't see communication as much of a priority...

Ps: Much to the amusement of my friends earlier on, I mixed up EHM with EMH. I must have been thinking too much of physics e.m.f...

-- originally dated 1/9/07